Thursday, May 13, 2010

Lessons from a flower garden - a parable of grace


      It was a flower garden begun more for reasons of practicality than for any great aesthetic design.  The two poplar trees were too close for a mower to pass between them, so it was determined that fashioning a flower bed in the awkward space between the trees was the most pragmatic option.  Because it was not in a highly visible area of the yard, the new flower garden-to-be did not receive immediate attention.  In fact, it may have remained on the to-do list for some time if it were not for the young daughter.  Her creative instincts saw the barren spot as a place to nourish life.
    Under her care and attention, the bare, awkward space was gradually transformed.  The unwieldy clay received a dressing of fertile soil; tiny seeds and promising bedding plants were nestled firmly in place.  The daughter watered and weeded quite faithfully – the lack of one and the abundance of the other both served as ongoing menaces to her efforts.  Creeping Jenny, marigolds, and pansies soon vibrated their colours in the swaying shadows of the guardian trees.  The flower garden was not manicured or formally arranged in any gardener sort of way, but it was delightful in its youthful haphazardness. 
    A season passed.  The garden’s colours faded into autumn brown and winter white.  The short-lived annuals were not replaced the following spring; the creeping jenny struggled to find its place amongst the now unchecked grasses and weeds.  The daughter had left home.  The mother often contemplated the flower garden – thoughts of renewing it were pondered and then discarded.  It was her daughter’s garden, and like her life, the garden would have to be tended by her alone.  It pained the mother to see the succession of weeds flourish in the midst of that once-happy place; it pained her more to watch the succession of poor choices that increasingly entangled her daughter’s life.
   A few years pass.  The garden remains untended.  The father and a younger brother regularly mow around it, but no one comments about the fact that of all the flower beds now adorning the park-like yard, this one alone remains untouched.  Un-watered, un-weeded, and un-planted.  The mother looks at it from time to time, but for her the garden has become too much of a metaphor for the loss of what once was.  Sometimes it is easier and less disheartening not to think about it.     
    A new season begins.  The garden is still untouched by human hands.  The mother glances wistfully at it as she walks by on her way to tend another part of the yard.  Something about it momentarily catches her eye.  Against all odds, it is blooming - not the pansies or marigolds of its inaugural year, but hardy wild roses.  The wind caresses the abundant pale pink blossoms, capturing the delicate sweet perfume and tossing it about with frolicking abandon.   Suddenly the word beautiful seems completely inadequate.
   Curiosity makes the mother crouch low to search for any remnant of her daughter’s touch.  She smiles to see the green tendrils of creeping jenny quietly flourishing in the shady regions beneath the roses.  The garden still has life.  The metaphor has suddenly shifted and deepened.  Like her daughter’s life, the garden is witness to the ability of the Master Gardner to sustain life.  The thorns are ever-present on the blooming rose bushes, a poignant reminder that often life’s choices are not without painful consequences.  But the blooms are also there – a visible witness to the Redeemer and His power to turn chaos and weeds into a reflection of His glory.  And the creeping jenny is still there – a comforting reminder that the daughter who once was, is still a daughter.  Still loved.  Still longed for.  Still there underneath all the trappings that have confused her identity.  
    
   The garden continues to remain untouched by human hands.  It is a place best left to the only One who can truly redeem, restore, and sustain its life.  It is beautiful because He makes it so.  How like the grace of God.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Lessons in a bookstore


It is unheard of for me to feel agitation around shelves and shelves of books. Yet that is exactly what happened on a recent foray into a large bookstore in Edmonton. Normally a chance to browse titles and peruse pages is a welcome and somewhat leisurely treat, often longed for but seldom indulged in. In retrospect I must admit that there were things other than books on my mind that day – weighty and complex issues that encompassed my spirit. But although they affected my frame of mind at that particular time, they were not the source of my “biblio-anxiety.”
My bookstore experience was an unsettling affirmation of some observations and thoughts that I had been processing for some time. In my personal reading and study I have been focusing on Christian apologetics and thoroughly appreciating the thoughtful challenges of authors such as Ravi Zacharias, R.C. Sproul, and Oz Guinness. In addition, my job as an English and Social Studies teacher requires me to be acquainted with numerous texts, ideologies, and perspectives of thinking. Generally speaking, I enjoy my reading and research in all of these areas. So why the disconnect in the bookstore?
Well, it began quite innocuously as I was searching for a book by a particular author. I did not find it, nor could I find much of anything by any authors that I would consider to be solidly grounded in a Biblical world-view. But there were a plethora of books. Books everywhere, about everything. Romance books with sensual covers. Science fiction books with apocalyptic themes. History books that delved into the atrocities and obscurities of mankind. Biographies and autobiographies that often resembled tabloid sensationalism. Self-help books ad naseum. Diet books ad infinitum. The feelings of unease began closing in. I was surrounded by literally thousands of pages replete with human wisdom and insight. And it all seemed so empty. I was lost in a world of knowledge about everything and nothing. My search for a particular author became a desperate hunt for anything that resembled the wisdom of God. I found some possibilities here and there... Dostoevsky on the end of the 4th self, C.S. Lewis in the children’s section, Chesterton in the bargain bin.
The uneasiness became frustration. Not because I couldn’t find the book I had hoped to find, but because it further served to confirm some previous observations about the vast amounts of information that are available at the click of a button via the internet. As a teacher, I appreciate the ready availability of information. It makes my job much easier in so many ways. But, like the bookstore, the world wide web of information is fraught with human wisdom and perspectives that are anything but Godly. Anyone can post anything about everything. Never before has so much information been twittered, blogged, facebooked, chatted, texted, youtubed, or podcasted. One can comment on news stories about which one knows virtually nothing, and somehow each perspective is as valid as anyone else’s. We feel empowered by the opportunity to express ourselves, and so we do – often with reckless abandon.
I am not against any of these methods of communication. I appreciate the connections that facebook has brought back into my life. I chat with dear friends and precious family members. I blog. I gratefully listen to podcasts by Godly teachers that I would never get the chance to see or hear in person. But what I am acutely aware of is that even with all this vast array of information and knowledge and communication, we as human beings are still destroying each other. We are still lonely and isolated and desperate for love that is real. We are still madly searching for meaning in our existence even though Darwin was supposed to have penned a clarification for us on that issue years ago. We are surrounded by knowledge and yet remain fools.
What scared me most that day was the thought that if I was feeling overwhelmed by all of this information, what must the teens that I teach feel when they try to find answers to the situations in their lives? Where is the grade 12 student going to get answers when her mom tells her that the 17 years of raising her has been nothing but a waste of time and energy; that having a daughter has done nothing but hold her back from the things she wanted out of life? What answers do the books on the shelves and the web pages give to the young man in the prime of his life who has decided that life is just simply not worth living anymore? What wisdom is provided for the stay-at-home mom who copes with loneliness by living vicariously on facebook while the real world of raising children collapses around her?
I know that all of them can find answers of some kind – in books, on the internet, from others. Our world is not short on answers; but when answers are based on the shaky foundation of self-determinism we find that we are no better off for having embraced them. We are increasingly at risk to the abuses of our own wisdom.
Hence my feelings of agitation. Fearful agitation. In the end, I shelved the feelings until I could make better sense of them, put on my English teacher’s persona and bought a benign but practical book on vocabulary. Clarification came later as I returned to the source of all knowledge and wisdom – the Word of God. It was like standing in the middle of a whirlwind and finding an anchor in the calmness of that space. The Word of God has always contained everything needed for “teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” That has not changed; what has changed is the sheer number of other voices that are trying to make that same claim. Minus the righteousness part perhaps – after all, what is right and true has become a matter of personal preference and/or expediency.
I have never before felt more urgency for the need to allow God’s Word to permeate every area of my life; to “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ”; to “see to it that no one takes [me] captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” Anchored in the truths of God’s Word, I have a firm place of strength, consistency, clarity, perspective... and transcendent wisdom. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Only the beginning!? And yet that offers so much more hope and purpose than all those shelves of books and a whole cyber world of human wisdom.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lesson in the waves


Waves of grace.... the image in these words is one of cleansing and refreshing. A gentleness that envelopes the innermost being and purges the dross of sin and carries it away on the tides. Grace can indeed be that gentle action of God at work in our lives. But after standing on a west coast beach this summer and watching the waves of the open ocean crash into the shore again and again and again, I was reminded that there was nothing gentle about this action. It was fierce even on a relatively calm day, and it was relentless. The pounding action of these waves was most evident on the huge rocks that clustered stoically along the shoreline. Each and every one of them, regardless of their colour, size, or molecular make-up, was worn to a glossy smooth sheen by years of contact with insistent waters. The effect was stunning. Once dull, lifeless surfaces glistened and radiated the gleam of the sun’s rays. I could not resist running my hands repeatedly over their warm silky smoothness. How could something so hard seem so soft?

I’ve mulled this over for some time now – thinking about how waves are often used metaphorically for the grace of God. The dilemma in my mind has probably been that my image of the gentle grace of God and the obvious force and unremitting strength of the waves on that beach seemed completely contradictory. Can grace be that relentless, that determined, that forceful in its attack on the strongholds of my heart?

My own life experience recognizes that it is indeed so. The waves of grace continue to assail my soul because there are still stoic clusters of boulders that persist in resisting the touch of God.
I am so humbled that He has not given up. Of all the impossibilities that the God of the impossible must face, it must be the hardness of the human soul.
And yet His waves of grace continue...

I noticed another effect of the waves that day. The continuous action created a rhythmic ebb and flow that pulsated like a beating heart. Next to the congregations of large rocks lay sandy reaches of beach, ringed by the flotsam and jetsam of ocean life: seaweed strands, shell shards, and crab carcasses. Free from the impediments of intervening rocks, the waves here could reach and stretch and slide almost playfully along the shoreline. These are the places where people like to congregate. It is comfortable here.

As the waves ebbed, returning to gather energy for another run at the beach, the water gently toyed with the tiny grains of sand. Worn to almost microscopic size, the grains settled along tiny rivulets of water, separating by weight into intricate patterns of colour. The resulting effect was similar to the lacy fans of frost one often sees on windowpanes on cold winter mornings. Unlike those frozen images, however, these fans of sand were alive and continually moving, gently shifting and flowing like kaleidoscope rivers.

The same waves. The same fierceness and relentless action. Yet – the effect is so different. Resolute rocks worn smooth and shifting sands given purposeful beauty. How like the grace of God... always working to bring His truth to the hardness of our hearts, always working to remove the sharp, coarse edges that keep us dull to His voice, so that even in our hardness, His glory still shines. And how like the grace of God to reach into those more tender areas of our hearts, where hardness may not be the hindering factor, but perhaps disordered focus, fleeting doubts, haphazard purpose. His grace gently, but consistently, washes over these areas, orchestrating patterns of beauty and colour that reflect His design for our lives.
How like the grace of God.

Waves of Grace (David Noble)
The walls are high, the walls are strong
I've been locked in this castle
That I've built for far too long
You have surrounded me, a sea on every side
The cracks are forming and I've got nowhere to hide

Now I see
The walls I've built are falling
And your waves of grace are washing over me

My heart's been hard, I have been blind
I have often worked so hard to keep you from my mind
I have ruled my life, in a palace built on sand
I want you to reign, Lord, take me by the hand

Lord please reign in every part
I give my life to you
I open up my heart
I want to be like you, I want to seek your face
O Lord please wash me in your awesome waves of grace

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Lessons from the trees

On our recent holiday, Dean and I were dirt-biking in a dry, arid region of the interior of British Columbia. The barrenness of the hills exposes their wrinkles and irregularities. At first glance it is not an area that one would generally associate with vibrant life. Recent invasions of the mountain pine beetle have exacerbated the image of lifelessness by encompassing what forests there are with the dull red of death. It is a depressing image.

But our excursions into the less-travelled, less-noticed regions of the hill country brought new images to the fore. The seemingly barren hills were alive with sages and junipers, gently scenting the air with their musky fragrance. Hardy sedges and grasses transformed small pockets of water into little oases for the cattle that roamed at large. Even the rocks supported the tenacious life of lichens and mosses. Everywhere we looked the image of death was supplanted by evidence of life.

But the most striking image of all is forever burned into my memory. We emerged from a forested section of trail into a modest meadow. Lining one edge of the meadow was a small grove of shimmering green aspens. Life. Immediately behind the aspens stood several stately ponderosa pines, all fully intact and beautifully formed, but completely red. Death.

The stark contrast of colour, of life and death reminded me of Deuteronomy 30:19 "... I have set before you life and death...Now choose life, so that you and your children may live, and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life..."

In a world that continually seeks immortality through the mechanisms of self-destruction, may we, by God's grace, choose life. May His life in us be a stark contrast to the death and destruction of sin. Choose life...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Lessons in the frost

One morning last winter I awoke to heavy frost encasing the trees outside my window. The juxtaposition of frozen coldness and fragile filaments of beauty reminded me again of the wonders of the created world. What struck me most that day, however, was the heaviness created by the jungle of frost-encrusted branches. Unadorned, the same twigs, though very visible, were easy to overlook. The bulky overcoat they wore that day gave them a weighty presence that could not be ignored.

Life is much the same - complex, intricate, a tangle of branches and twigs - all reaching, going, growing out from the roots imbedded and unseen below the surface. At times the complexities, though visible, go un-noticed as we focus on the mundane matters of daily life. At other times the reality of the tangle of events, emotions, choices, and relationships that comprise this existence we call life seem overpowering in their presence.

I watched on that wintry day as the sun eased its way above the frozen horizon and touched the frosty, grey trees. The response was subtle but immediate. Cold heaviness transformed into irridescent majesty. Fragments of colour danced, sparkled, and glistened in a unified celebration of life.

How like God in His grace to dress every aspect of our complex lives with the splendor of His purposes, His love, and His forgiveness.

Ever-enlarging enough

"There are good things God must delay giving until his child has a pocket to hold them... He must first make him fit to receive and to have. There is no part of our nature that shall not be satisfied - and satisfied no by lessening it, but by enlarging it to embrace and ever-enlarging enough." George MacDonald